Sometimes it’s hard to draw the line between being insanely attracted to someone and being in love with that person. For me love is a very confusing sickness or feeling, it’s really hard to say what exactly the symptoms are because unlike malaria it’s not the same with everybody.

I’m a junkie when it comes to love, I don’t know if I like easily or fall in love easily but once I do, I’m stuck. You really have to prove yourself to be an asshole or I have to find a deal breaker before the jinx can be broken, but before then I do what everybody else does. I stalk, daydream, fantasize and all other crazy things possible in my head. Same was Jay’s story.

Fresh out of NYSC, I got a job through my friend(my married boyfriend, I’ll write about it later on), and I needed to meet up with him to hang out. I had to wait for him at an eatery close by and while waiting, I met two guys let’s call them Jay and Fay. Both of them about the same height (about 6ft1in), one a bit on the fat side while the other was chubby. After I took my order they invited me to their table and I obliged.

We got talking fast and not long after my friend arrived to pick me. We hurriedly exchange numbers, since Fay was sitting beside me, I punched my number in his cell but from that brief encounter, I couldn’t get Jay off my mind.

I met with Fay a couple of times and each time I always told him to make sure Jay was around which he did (I doubt they are ever separated from each other). Fay started asking me out, I said no, but couldn’t keep myself away because that will mean I won’t get to see Jay. So, I stuck around. Things got so bad or good (lol) that I started calling Fay as Jay but I never called Jay by his friend’s name.

Everytime Fay complained about it, I’ll apologize and say “you know I met you guys together so I kind of juggle it up” when in truth, my mind was actually on Jay. Then came the day he (Fay) tried to kiss me, urgh…has to be the worse kiss of my life. I made up my mind to stop seeing him after that day because I’ll be ruining whatever chance I might have with Jay if things ever got out of hand between Fay and I.

I know you’ll be wondering if I’m all alone in this. Well I think I am, at first, I thought we connected (holds my hand, looks me in the eyes when we talk, likes my grandma and wanted to meet her and he was always trying to isolate us away from Fay), but stayed away because of his friend. When I stopped seeing Fay I thought he’ll call me or try to reach out, never heard from him. And just when I thought I was getting him off my mind, I see him on my way from work almost a year after (it has to be a sign that I shouldn’t give up…lmao).

Would I have asked him out if I was a boy and he was a girl? Hell yeah, fucking right! So, if you are a girl and you’ve ever been in a similar situation, kindly reach out and tell me what you did or what you think I should do. Boys help your sister out. 😉

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