This is basically unavoidable at the age of our lives, some people just come out straight to tell you what your position will be in his life. If you are a JJC let me tell you who a side chick is. A side chick or assistant girlfriend is, just as the name implies you are the one he wants to run to when he want companionship without all the complication of being in a real relationship. As a side chick your duties include:
- His “hoe”: yeah a hoe. Actually, this is the most important part of your duties. He wants to try out all the sex styles and position he can’t ask of his main chick and also at anytime and anywhere. Ranging from hotel rooms to your apartment, his apartment, in the car, short restrooms in bars and clubs. Absolutely anywhere and anytime you guys meet it always has to be about the sex. All other things comes after.
- Best friend: he tells you everything, he has nothing to lose so he might as well say it all. He tells you about his friends how his main chick (GF) is frustrating him and all that.
- Mom: well be there to console them when things go bad. At work, home or anywhere else.
- Moneylender: He’ll definitely pay you back when he borrows from you, so you don’t get mixed feelings.
So now that we are clear on what a side chick is, it’s the worst thing any girl has to put herself through. Although some of us go into it unknowingly, say he didn’t tell you he had a GF and you didn’t see the signs or he told you after you already fell in love with him. Some of us just literally go into it with our eyes wide open, for some reason or another which are genuine to you at the time.
Usually, I blame things like this on one’s state of mind, I mean once dated a guy simply because I was bored in my other relationship when in actual truth I was bored because I stopped paying attention to my boyfriend and was more interested in what the other guy had to say. So if you are a side chick I’m not judging but you have to find your way out fast before it eats you too deep.
In actual truth, it has a lot more disadvantages than the advantage. Yes, just one advantage. The only one you get from this parasitic relationship is FUN! The thrill of doing something bad and not getting caught. The disadvantages are endless. Let me list a few of them:
- It’s emotionally draining: you are constantly hoping he falls in love with you or trying hard to push down your feeling. What I’ve noticed is how emotionally connected we girls are, you probably just wanted to do it for fun but developing feelings at some point is inevitable. Trust me.
- Self Esteem: it’s so fucking degrading excuse my French but it brings you down to nothing. I mean imagine someone telling you they want to see you when you know they really just want to have sex with you nothing more. What makes you different from a roadside prostitute, at least they get paid. You don’t! He might buy you nice things at times but trust me he has bought 10 times more for his main chick. Not cool!
- The waiting game: no matter how fond he is of you, you are always going to be secondary, never a priority. Your name is probably stored as “Edible Catering” or “The Mech” So you are going to be on his stolen period and borrowed time. Also, you have an expiration date, either his chick finds out or he finds another one and you can’t stand that. You get the flow…you are just an “in the meantime” girl.
- Your reputation: he tells all his friends about you because he needs to be the “bad guy” and they meet you during one of your stolen moments. They act nice, but trust me they have really nasty thought about you, some of them will even ask him to let them be part of the fun too. You basically become one of the group jokes
You need to get out of that parasitic relationship fast before it ruins you. Everyone can’t be Olivia Pope; so, the possibility of leaving his main chick for you is slim to none and even if he does he just might leave you for someone else too. Do you really want to go on with that? It’s a dead end.